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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Sleep Regression, Fevers and Co-Sleeping- Oh My!

In the past two weeks my seventeen month old daughter who had previously been sleeping through the night has experienced a sleep regression. She won't go to sleep by herself at night, she wakes up screaming in the middle of the night and it takes a while to calm her down. Last night my son was also up with a fever which leads to a very sleep deprived Mommy.

This sleep regression has me thinking about baby and kid sleep... and reflecting on how hard dealing with sleep has been for us in the past year and a half.

I have done everything you're "supposed to do" and "not supposed to do" with these two kiddos. Our various sleeping arrangements over the past year and a half include:

-swaddled in bassinets
-swaddled in swings
-co-sleeping in bed
-co-sleeping in chair
-rocking to sleep
-nursing to sleep
-sleeping in pack & plays
-sleeping half the night in bed with us
-sleeping the whole night in bed with us
-sleeping in pack & plays with each other (very very briefly)

And every single decision I stressed and stressed about! Which is crazy. 

I understand the need for safe baby sleep and I know that sleeping is really important for development and health. But what I don't thinks is helpful (or true) is those that insist your baby or child not sleeping well is due to something YOU are doing wrong or that it means something is wrong with your child. 

So many people are struggle with infant sleep!  I firmly believe it is because all infants and small children were not designed to sleep 12 hour stretches. I know it happens with some, but for many it just doesn't happen- no matter how hard you try or how much you stress about it.  And I do believe sleep training can help some infants/children sleep better, but not all of them.

So this sleep regression has been different. I have changed my attitude about it and found that we are doing what works best for us all to get the most sleep. Right now what works best is  having Little Miss go to sleep with me and my husband and then moving to the nursery or guest bed as Little Man wakes up.... and we are making it through (with a little extra coffee in the mornings).

This change in attitude has been good for all of us. I am not worried that I am starting bad sleep habits that will "ruin" my children. I am taking care of their needs while still getting enough sleep for me to function. And I know this time will be short- I will look back and wonder where these precious years went. 

I am not judging those who sleep train (I did it too and I feel it was necessary for us at the time) but I do encourage those struggling with sleep to take a step back and know that your kid will be fine no matter how you chose to deal with their sleep and that sleep troubles and sleep regressions are perfectly normal!!

Thanks for Reading,


Stephanie said...

I am with you! My 17 month old is generally a good sleeper, now, after trying a lot of different things according to whatever I thought he needed at the time. But we have setbacks- like last night he woke up several times. I remind myself "this too shall pass". Today I learned he is cutting an incisor and seems to be going through a growth spurt as well.

Anonymous said...

i think you're doing a great job! Your mother's intuition is probably a lot more important than what you read you're "supposed" to do. You have to do what works for you and for your babies. And like you said, the days pass quickly and before you know it they'll probably both be sleeping well again.

Lillie said...

Just take one day at a time. I believe there is no right ways nor wrong ways, you need not stick by the book coz' mommy always know best for their kids. Take time to enjoy growing with your kids for time flies and before you know it, they will want to have their own room and their own space.

Jas said...

Do whatever feels right for you. My daughter let her first one co-sleep with her and eventually my granddaughter started sleeping in her room all on her own (she'll be 3 next weekend) I'm sure she'll do the same with her newborn. Thank you for linking up with Thursday Favorite Things.

Veronika | Tickled Pink Confetti said...

I hear you! I have two children, a 6-year-old and a 2-year-old and both are still sleeping with me. We tried everything in the past, including the cry-it-out method, but we have accepted since then that sleeping alone is not a skill that has to be mastered quickly. We learnt to enjoy sleeping together in the same room, although we also yearn for our own space - which will come soon, I'm hoping. When they are ready, they are ready.

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